FOOLS DIE

LISTEN to me. I will tell you the truth about a man's life. I will tell you the truth about his love for women. That he never hates them. Already you think I'm on the wrong track. Stay with me. Really- I'm a master of magic.
Do you believe a man can truly love a woman and constantly betray her? never mind physically, but betray her in his mind, in the very "poetry of his soul". Well, it's not easy, but men do ita ll the time.

Do you want to know how women can love you, feed you that love deliberately to poison your mind simply to destroy you? And out of passionate love choose not love you any more? And at the same time dizzy you with an idiot's ectasy? Impossible? That's the easy part.
But don't run away. This is not a love story.

I will make you feel the painful beauty of a child,the animal horniness of the adolescent male, the yearning suicidal moodiness of the young female. And then (here's the hard part) show you how time turns man and woman around full circle, exchanged in body and soul.

And then ofcourse there is TRUE LOVE. Don't go away it exists or I will make it exist. I'm not a master of magic for nothing. Is it worth what it costs? And how about sexual fidelity? Does it work? Is it love? Is it even human, that perverse passion to be with only one person? And if it doesn't work, do you still get a bonus for trying? Can it work both ways? Of course not, that's easy. And yet--
Life is a comical business, and there is nothing funnier than love travelling through time. But a true master of magic can make his audience laugh and cry at the same time. Death is another story. I will never make a joke about death. It is beyond my powers.
...
Parallel to death, love is a tiresome, a childish business, though men believe more in love than death. Women are another story. they have a powerful secret. They don't take love seriously and never have.

But again, don't go away. Again; this is not a love story. Forget about love. I will show you all the stretches of power.

The excerpt is a part beautiful introduction to Fools die by Mario Puzzo. Get it while you can.

Relapse

The other night I did a quick relapse of my short escapades in life. And I noticed something strange. Strange because I hardly noticed it every time it happened. I could not place my finger at it precisely at the moment. What was it? I could see it, and then again I would not. It stood there with its doors ajar...and me trying to force entry to doors which had no business being open. Then it hit me!!like a train with no headlights at night. I have always been attracted to stupid women!!jumping junipers!!I think this happens by default. That switch must be rusty now as its never been touched. Well, let's give them credit, they are clever to fooling me. Their looks/composure fool me,oh cmoon! Sometimes I feel I can change them by osmosis. But no matter how much man is intelligent, a woman will be the death of him!! Come to think about it, leonardo da vinci was womanless,einstein,enscede,copernicus,isaac newton,galileo galilei,daniel moi(hehe). They realised something. It just wasn't a rare coincidence. Wait even Jesus was. Now don't mistake me, I am not comparing myself to any of these scallywags(with exceptions to Jesus) because it can't happen. And I'm also not saying I won't need a woman in the near future, heck I want three even! What I'm saying, these people realised it not worth it. They realised the only good women, stay at home helping their mothers cook and don't have girl talk. Girl talk..talk about a blind man(cancel)woman leading another.

But I think it balances out. Sometimes men are tired chasing life and need to cool off for a while,we often pop around for a free ride from this blind fellas, and when re-energised enough we move on. And they will never learn. But when times come to settle down...err,let's just say karma's a female dog.

But I'm assured that there are good women. I have seen them out there with good men. I am sure the statistics of such women in africa is next to zero.no offense:)) so I think my grand mothers dream will come true. And I wish I could say things in black and white lest I offend some curious minds. That's enough spewing I guess. For today.

So yea,before I leave, somebody tell me what's the difference between open and closed relationships??its been on fb for a while now, but I just hit me! Does open mean I should join you guys for a picnic or I should sit and watch in anticipation from a distance as there may just be a loop hole and I can snatch you? Btw that's plain arrogant. Well,strange post today, you can't talk about cows and don't drink milk(or eat grass maybe hehe).*sigh

post script

if you really care about god's green earth please feed my fishes at the corner there. click on the white and food somehow appears...and dont act too smart now..go ahead and do it.
do they remind you of that time...long long ago hahah.

Reminiscence of a female dog.

Have you ever searched for something? Searched for it so bad that you felt like kicking the neighbour’s dog. And then…and then you find that goddam thing on yourself. Be it clasped in your hands or in your pockets, if it is small enough. Well, unfortunately, I cannot kick my neighbour’s dog. It’s a mix breed of all the baddest dogs you have heard of. This is a dog that doesn’t lift its hind legs while taking a piss. In fact, the piss gives itself to be taken. Maybe you have not heard, but I have my fair share of history with dogs. I have been brutalised by them. I have been hospitalized…okay not really. But I got some nasty tetanus injection on my posterior as a result. I was young. Cut me some slack. Bring those dogs on now… yes I will end up hospitalized, but take my word; I will not go down alone. Those dark days are over. My neighbour’s dog though is another story… for once both angels on my shoulders agree that it’s a very very bad idea.

I was about young years old. Young enough to be woken up served breakfast and held hands to the bus stop. I remember I had this habit where I found pleasure in dipping bread in tea. Let’s just say I was beaten out of it. I was a nice kid. You know the ones who old women used to rub your cheeks and whisper how you’re going to be chased by girls hehe. Been there, not necessarily being chased for all the right reasons. our house help had the responsibility of escorting me to the school bus stop. We were just about to leave the main gate of our estate when, we saw some dogs(note the ‘s’) from a distance at full flight towards us. They looked like they had received direct orders from the devil to devour us. Have you ever felt betrayed? Helpless? Rejected? Hopeless? That’s just a tip of the iceberg compared to what I felt when the house help did not think twice about letting my hand go. She took to her heels into some banana plantation like 50 metres away. So yes I was alone now. The dogs numbers three (two bitches and a male), not including like six well fed puppies. I had to run, slow, but running none the less.  Don’t gimme that, at least there was initiative. With every step I made ahead I took a slow-mo glimpse at the dogs which were now hot on my heels. I don’t know, I expected some lightening to strike them. Or a mango tree to fall on them all. The estate gate was wide open. Wide enough for a troop of elephants to march in. But amid my glimpses, as I turned I was met with a crashing reality. I took the edge of the gate head on. I saw stars in their well aligned constellation, including the non-existent ones. What are the odds!! So here I was seething with uncontrollable pain on the ground. It was such a crash that still left me a souvenir on my forehead. I did not have time to even touch my forehead before those carnivals swarmed me. Boy was I in for it. And then my memory right now does a Martin Scorsese on me. I have a slightly long flash of me kicking at two puppies which were of the opinion I had tasty legs. That flash is long enough to squeeze ketchup. Then it fades. Then I picture a paw on my face. That one isn’t long. The snarls are getting louder now. Either I blacked out or the memories have faded away with time, but I remember next being in the hospital bed lying on my stomach and a crisp breeze on my now naked butt. I wonder who rescued me. Is it watchman Musa? Certainly not that selfish house-help. Maybe the bitch ( the female dog not the house-help) remembered it had forgot her make-up. And it hastily left. Now you know why I never watched the movie ‘All dogs go to heaven’ because those mongrels will take the first bus straight to… 

wait a minute..i actually meant an actual female dog..what the??